You are viewing articles tagged alcohol.

Tuesday May 6, 2008

John Spain explains how to pimp your booze.

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Wednesday March 5, 2008

“I will NEVER patronize Taverna Opa South Beach for as long as I live, because I actually like to EAT food and not have napkins strewn all over the table while I am nibbling, much less have some skanky ho from Baltimore purloining a Mediterranean ethnicity while shaking her ass over my tzatziki.” — Manola, who was charged $3 more for a drink when a woman bartender served it to her then when a man did.

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Monday November 26, 2007

I cannot possibly explain to you how much I am hating this Monday. Update: And that was fucking before i lost my fucking cell phone somewhere on the street. Fuck the fucking fuck. Once there was a very ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everybody died. The End. Update: Believe it or not, I retraced my steps the next morning, and found my phone in the grass, a few inches from the pavement, on a street in Hollywood. A bit the worse for getting morning-dewed on, but fully working. Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord. Y’all may please to resume blowing my shit up, 305.532.2587. Also: the SNPA is far from my dessert-island beer, but I can dig the flowery character once in awhile. A full discussion of beer is beyond the scope of this update.

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Monday October 8, 2007

LOL: The Beer Depot.

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Monday September 17, 2007

Jane Feltes’s favorite places on South Beach (she’s from This American Life). La Sandwicherie — yum!

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Thursday August 30, 2007

Review of The Room, a semi-secret beer connoisseur place on the southern end of the Beach, at the almost impossible to read Still Life with Feet.

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Friday August 17, 2007

A rundown of bars (not clubs) on South Beach. I’ve really been enjoying Matt Meltzer’s work for Miami Beach 411.

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Monday August 13, 2007

Somewhat relevant to our discussion about beating the heat, the Herald profiles the Hash House Harriers. “Not runners with a drinking problem, but drinkers with a running problem.” Turns out that running and drinking is a global thing. The lesson is clear: you gain more hydration from drinking beer then you loose through the alcohol. (thanks Steve)

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Monday July 23, 2007

Graziano's

Graziano's

It’s odd that out of the three Graziano’s, the one on Bird Road is the only one that’s considered a pizzeria, because I took the whole thing to be a pizza joint, albeit a somewhat fancy one. I guess the other ones are “just” Italian restaurants. But the great thing about this place is how they do their wine. There’s a regular wine shop in the front where you peruse a very respectable selection. When you’ve figured things out, you hand your bottle(s) to your waiter or waitress, and they take care of everything else. Not only is it like getting to browse through a restaurant’s wine cellar before eating, but the prices are in line with what they’d be in a shop, not on a menu. Cheers to that.

The other thing is the wonderful staff. I’m not normally a stickler for service, but when drinking wine by the bottle, it’s important to have an unhurried evening, and out waitress struck just the right mix of attentiveness and distance. She brought out a fresh set of wine glasses for each new bottle. And while, this being Bird Road, not everyone was absolutely bilingual, I don’t get the sense that this is ever a real problem. And the pizza was sensational. Delivered variously on ceramic trays and cast-aluminum platters, each had its own personality and charm. The four-cheese + green and black olive was particularly formidable.

Prices on the wine started in the $10-15 range and topped out around $100 (they probably keep the good stuff tucked away a little), while the pie was around $10 for a single-person dose and $20 for a two-person. Parking was a bitch; the other Italian restaurant next door (same owner?) had most of the parking lot blocked off for their valet service.

Graziano’s Pizzeria, 9227 SW 40th St., (305) 225-0008.

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Monday June 18, 2007

Clevelander renovations. Lovely wrap-around billboard that doesn’t promote anything other then general hedonism.

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Thursday January 25, 2007

Schnebly Redland's Winery

Schnebly winery

Oh, the mystery. Wine doesn’t grow in our climate, so how can there be a winery in Homestead? On the drive, the signs say “Winery” and even have a little picture of a bunch of grapes. But Schnebly Redland’s Winery in fact makes “wine” out of tropical fruits such as lychee, passion fruit, and guava. The winery itself is a bit of a tourist trap: housed in a pair of trailers (a new visitor facility is under construction), and charging $6 for a wine tasting and another $6 for a tour, wtf? We opted for the former and skipped the latter.

The short pour

How’s it taste? Pretty good, actually. They all look like white wine (except the guava). And they taste much more like the juice of their respective plants with a little alcohol then actual wine. The closest to real wine was the oak-aged version of the carambola (starfruit) wine, but it wasn’t great. We agreed that the lychee one was the best, and ended up getting another bottle to drink outside, which was the best part of the whole thing. You can save yourself the trip and just order a bottle from their website if you’re curious.

Tourist feet

The tour also gets you the privilege of doing a wine fruit-stomping contest. Like I said, tourist trap. There’s also a “Boo-Boo” wine, supposedly a heirloom blend of fruit to which the recipe has been lost, so “once it’s gone it’s gone.” It actually is delicious, but at $35 for a half-bottle . . . well, I guess you have to set your own priorities.

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Sunday December 3, 2006

Just what you needed on a Sunday evening: my thoughts on a few varieties of booze.

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