Saturday September 22, 2007
Text Saturday

- This is why I don’t do things like this: because eventually, Google will just come along and make it better (and in this case, I still need some convincing that this is worth any effort at all).
- Jason Kottke’s gems from the archives of the New York Times and first NY Times restaurant review, circa 1859?
- Richard Dawkins: What if you’re wrong?
- Cramming hurts your long-term memory.
- Chuck Klosterman, the Author Photos. In his book IV, Klosterman discusses the outfit in the last photo. He purchased it from a Gap where a mannequin was wearing all three items (shirt, sweater, jeans), because “(a) I assume the kind of people who dress mannequins spend a lot of time considering aesthetics, (b) this eliminated the decision making, and (c) I am somewhat ‘mannequin-shaped.’”
- Famous literary lines and how to use them in conversation.
- Bid farewell to the hyphen.
- Book sculptures. See also the photography of Abelardo Morell.
- William Strunk Jr’s The Elements of Style, pre-White’s additions (but you really do need the full version, with White’s stuff).
- Great History Channel documentary about Freemasonry. No conspiracy theories here, just lots of great history. (Also lots of goofiness — “the concept of the three”? “the concept of the four”??)
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Wednesday December 26, 2007
Grammar test: what is wrong with the first sentence of this article?
Tuesday February 12, 2008
February Artwalk
Blackbooks’ spectacular show at Spinello — no stencils, all wood cuts. With the help of a computer and laser, images are precision-cut out of the top layer of a piece of painted wood. The results tend to speak for themselves, and note that this technique gets extended into sculpture and other media with, presumably, the use of a jigsaw.
Swarm the freshly-scrubbed art collectors!
Charley Friedman’s show at Gallery Diet was a bit unfocused, but there’s no arguing with larger-then-life nipple photos and Q-tip sculptures.
Rene Barge and Gustavo Matamoros’ sound installation at Dorsch. This reminds me of the story where the Velvet Underground wanted to record a 24-hour piece of music, and then have their engineer do custom mixes of it for each listener, based on their personality… But seriously, it’s interesting how easily people seemed to take to the idea that the way sound activates a space is very similar to the way that paintings on a wall do. 24 channels, and you walk around to experience each one, but what you’re really doing is absorbing the whole thing as a continuous experience.
An uneven portrait show at Hardcore Art Space, but with some real standouts.
For example, Jordi Bernardo’s Tenerife. I don’t know if you can see the person standing off on the right side of the frame?
We close, as always, with Twenty Twenty (because the beer there never ever runs out). Amazing laser piece by Matthew Schriber.
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Wednesday October 25, 2006
wtf Dogma Grill?

Our litigious, intellectual property-obsessed, too-much-time-on-its-goddamned-hands society is running amok again. Our own local heroes, Dogma Grill (I will not link them in a house . . . you know the drill) has successfully sued another fancy hot-dog restaurant into submission.
We expect this crap from big stupid corporations, but a small local business? For shame. Oh, wait. But just you wait for the details: the name of the business, which would have caused confusion in the consumer’s minds? “Hot Dogma.” That’s right: the only similarity is the stupid pun. Turns out our local heroes p0wn that pun. More confusion: the offending restaurant is in Pittsburgh. I suppose Miami residents on vacation up there would have somehow associated the restaurants, and somehow . . . done harm to something, is what Dogma Grill, or rather it’s owner (a former MTV executive) was thinking. Good job, guys. Way to stick it to the man.
Pittsburgh residents are rightly pissed, but there’s not much they can do. But there’s something we can do, allright: get our hot dogs somewhere else. Anyone know a good place that serves fancy schmancy dogs?
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Monday July 9, 2007
BoB Miami has current photos of most of the construction projects in downtown. (You need to right-click and say “view image” to really see them, because the images on the blog are resized in-browser and very jagged.)
Friday March 31, 2006
Orchid Weekend

- Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden’s International Orchid Festival.
- At the Art and Culture Center, Elisa Monte Dance.
- At MAC, Al Otro Lado a 66 minute film from Mexico, about a 23 year old drug trafficker with a talent for composing “corridos” – ballads about the narcotics underworld and illegal immigrant life.
- You might live under a rock. Otherwise you’d know that the Alvin Ailey Dance Company is in town.
- Note to self: two more weekends to see the shows at MoCA.
- Mozart’s Mass in C minor was unfinished when he died. Now, it’s been “reconstructed and completed” from new material found by Mozart scholars, which I’m totally not down with. Nonetheless, you can expose yourself to the results Sunday.
- Huh? The Go-Gos??
- Monday, free: “join the fellows of the New World Symphony for an evening of learning and lively discussion about the elements which shape the world of classical music.” It sounds lame, but if my experience with Musicians’ Forum is any indication, it won’t be.
Hey: Also, I’m working on something about the UM Janitor strike. Anyone have any thoughts, e-mail me; think of it like comments in reverse. In particular, I want to get my hands on something called “Why the Protest Continues: It’s All About Democracy.”
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Thursday August 24, 2006
DeFede echoes my rant about the peaceful demonstrater that got shot by rubber bullets by cops. “Could it be that these gallant men are really just a bunch of cowards…. and are afraid to meet this woman face to face – without all their guns and rifles, and riot gear.”
Wednesday April 23, 2008
A little pussy chases a big cock. Ok ok let’s be nice — Miami, Bro has been rocking lately. Here’s two recent posts: Jimbo’s B-day bash, and Sneaking into clubs (easy, though it helps if you (1) have some gumption and/or (2) are a babe).
Thursday December 22, 2005
Prune Juice
[Contributed by Steve Klotz]

Speaking of phony science and cornholing the citizenry, how’s that war against citrus canker going? Are we consumers, now paying a buck a grapefruit, still taking the weight to keep Florida agribusiness profitable?
Stop the presses! A commercial grower has filed suit to stop tree removal? The Haines city grower’s lawyer filed papers yesterday, noting that the canker eradication law, ‘’no longer bears a reasonable and substantial relationship to the preservation of the Florida citrus industry, but simply constitutes a taking without a public purpose and without compensation.”
The reason for this Pauline conversion: the grower in question now faces losing his own trees. Blaming Wilma for blowing canker spores all over the state, including into his own groves, his own uninfected-but-within-1900-feet-of-infected trees are slated for destruction. And with his own ass in the hot seat, he’s had a change of heart.
“It was one thing to have everybody else’s trees torn out,” observed an industry spokesman. “Particularly when it was mostly those Dade County immigrant bastards. But when it’s our people, our trees, well, it’s a different ball game, now!”
It was never about canker per se. From the get-go it was all about money, specifically powerful upstate Republican money, not to mention Asplundh tree service and Walmart, who got the corporate welfare cash for handling the voucher program (which collapsed, by the way).
Yeah, it sucks and yes it’s corrupt but: that’s Florida. Hold your nose and wish this lawyer well, because this action might stop the arboreal assassins’ chainsaws once and for all.
[Previously: Fruit loops]
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Tuesday July 12, 2005
Cuban Hurricane-Related Propaganda
This Cuban newspaper reports that Cuban exiles in Miami are calling for the embargo to be lifted. Pretty impressive that nobody in Miami noticed anything about this. Actually, the whole site is worth poking around a little; interesting stuff.
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Wednesday January 24, 2007
Cleveland Orchestra at Carnival Center

photo: Roger Mastroianni
For all intents and purposes, this past weekend was the night everyone was waiting for with respect to the Carnival Center’s concert hall — the first performance by by a full-scale, professional orchestra. The Cleveland Orchestra did it right, too, performing Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, paired with Leonard Bernstein’s 1st, to a sold-out audience. We already know that the Cleveland Orchestra is considered the best in the country, so the real question regards the Knight Concert Hall’s acoustics. (Although “Are they so good that a few performances a year make up for not having a local orchestra?” comes to mind.)
So let’s just get it out of the way: the room sounds great. When the music goes lound and fast in the 4th movement of the 9th it was almost overpowering. But where it really shines is on the quiet bits. Bernstein gets all 20th-century-American experimental in the first movement of his symphony, and there are little one and two bar solos for various instruments. Each time, it sounded like the player was sitting in my lap. Your ear adjusts for dynamic levels the same way your eye does going from a darkened theater into bright sunlight, but the Knight hall made everything sound just right.
The hall’s sound-modifying features were in their medium-intimate setting, with the canopy in its lowest position and the sound-doors partially open. I spoke to Gary Hanson, the Cleveland Orchestra’s executive director, who told me that this was the orchestra’s preferred configuration, giving the Knight Concert Hall an intimate sound, not unlike that of their own Severance Hall. The configuration was determined during the orchestra’s tuning visit to Miami last year, and will be used for all Cleveland Orchestra performances at Carnival Center. Other orchestras may choose a different configuration; for example, the New World Symphony actually changed the configuration between pieces during their inaugural performance last year.
Hanson was enthusiastic about the sound. He pointed out that like any concert hall, the sound is a little more reverberant in the top balconies and a little more present on the floor, but it is generally very consistent, which is in fact one of the marks of a great hall. The Cleveland Orchestra is very happy in the Knight Concert Hall.
So on to the show. The performance of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony was spectacular, comparing very favorably with my London Symphony Orchestra recording, especially in the third movement, which sounded the most modern. The biggest difference I noticed was in the opening; whereas on my recording the first movement opens with a bang, on Saturday it built dramatically from a quiet foundation. This performance featured 180 singers from the U/M Frost Chorale and the Master Chorale of South Florida. They sat motionless behind the orchestra for the first three movements, and only came in for the grand fourth movement (the longest), which goes full-tilt almost from beginning to end. Wow. Lawrence Johnson checked the Friday show out for the Herald, and he was also thrilled. (By the way, here is an interesting radio interview with conductor Franz Welser-Möst about his views of Beethoven’s 9th.)
What do you pair the most famous symphony in history with? Welser-Möst chose Leonard Bernstein’s 1st symphony, which seems odd only at first blush. Bernstein’s three movements are very different from each other; one is probing and experimental in a early-20th century sort of way (quirky two-bar solos! woodblock!), the second is fast and dramatic, and the third is mournful, and featured Kelly O’Connor’s vocal (which was wonderful, but honestly I couldn’t even tell what language she was singing, and it was English); this was the perfect thing to wake up the ears.
And so we have one of the best orchestras in the world in town for a few weeks every year. And while some former members of the defunct Florida Philharmonic feel that this will make it more difficult to re-form a local orchestra, as an audience all we can do is enjoy it. Apropos of that, extra seats have just been released (on the choral riser! should be a great place to sit) for the performances this weekend (Mahler!), and tickets are also available for the March performances (Tchaikovsky!).
I wouldn’t let the high-art thing intimidate me, by the way. Dress nice and bring your active-listening ears and you’ll be fine. If you can avoid wearing a loud jangly bracelet and moving around all night, you’ll be doing better then the woman sitting across the aisle from me (what was she thinking?). There is nothing quite like being in this particular room listening to this particular band; it’s something everyone should do.
See also: More information about the Knight Concert Hall at my Carnival Center writeup.
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Tuesday July 25, 2006
Roll Out!
All sorts of people will tell you that roller skating is more fun then ice skating, right? Of course it’s apples and oranges. But Roll Out Tuesdays in Ft. Lauderdale isn’t just an ordinary rollerskate night. Hosted by the inimitable DJ Hottpants and attended by the hippest of both counties, Roll Out is (well, not to be retarded about it, but) like a club on wheels. I realize it doesn’t look like much in my pictures (hey, it’s dark in there, and people are zipping around: you try photographing it with something that fits in your pocket), but plenty of busy people will tell you that it’s worth a trip up from as far as Coral Gables on a school night. And hey, nobody’s getting stabbed.
Take 95 north to 595, head East, get off at US-1, and go North. Gold Coast Roller Rink will be on your right almost right away (2604 S. Federal Highway). 8 pm to Midnight: hell yes. $3 door, $2 skate rentals. And the snack bar serves beer.
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Wednesday August 10, 2005
The Seminoles and the Seminoles
As our society has changed over the last one or two hundred years, we have changed our understanding of what counts as an unacceptable prejudice. Overt racism has gradually become unacceptable in mainstream society, and even homophobia is gradually on the decline. We even have sports fans coming to the realization that teams names referring to Native Americans are offensive, and some teams are getting renamed.
Now the NCAA is laying down the law for college football on this:
“The NCAA objects to institutions using racial/ethnic/national origin references in their intercollegiate athletics programs,” said NCAA President Myles Brand . . . effective immediately, institutions with student-athletes wearing uniforms or having paraphernalia with hostile or abusive references must ensure that those uniforms or paraphernalia not be worn or displayed at NCAA championship competitions.
Florida State University, famously home of the Seminoles, is up in arms about this, and they have the Seminole Tribe on their side. In fact, the Seminole Tribal Council unanimously adopted a resolution in support of the team’s name and mascot.
The two questions to consider here are: (1) Is it possible for a team thusly named to be worthy of respect if they do everything they can to stay within the bounds of political correctness? and (2) Does “permission” of the subject of the target of alleged prejudice excuse said prejudice?
Let’s take the second issue first. Why might the Seminole Tribal Council be fine with the team name and mascot when obviously not all Seminoles are fine with it? Perhaps a trip to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino can shed some light on this. Now, we support gambling on Native American reservations as a viable—if ultimately futile—attempt to right the wrongs of history. But let’s be serious: this is big business; huge sums of extremely fickle disposable income are trading hands here. The Tribal Council is in effect operating not just as a government, but as the board of a massive corporation (here’s some quick research: revenue in 1997 was about half a billion dollars annually; the huge Hard Rock complex was opened in 2004; it’s safe to assume that the Seminoles today control the biggest chunk of the $16-billion annual income of Native American casinos).
Nothing wrong with that either. But when you’re running a huge corporation, public relations and politics come into play. What better then getting behind an all-American football team to get in the good graces of idiot slot-machine junkies who visit the Hard Rock by the millions (and who could just as easily stay home and drink beer)? And, why piss off the politicians in Tallahassee, a great many of whom are FSU graduates? Doesn’t their support come in handy from time to time?
But none of this would be an issue if the school simply decided to change the name. It’s their decision, and any arguments should be directed at them. And the arguments (as laid out by Native American activists) remain persuasive. The use of these team names and costumed mascots ultimately serve to perpetuate a Hollywood version of Indians as fierce perpetual warriors in war paint and feathers. They distance us from our brutal historical dealings with them, and they distance us from their present day reality, which often includes struggles with poverty, alcoholism, and suicide.
Sports nicknames may seem like a trivial matter, but their prominence in our society helps keep Native Americans trapped in history, cartoon figures frozen on the war-path. Even when they purport to celebrate positive characteristics, these names are perpetuating stereotypes (is there such a thing as a positive stereotype?). We are a country that was grew by slaughtering Native Americans, and naming sports teams after them is nothing more or less then adding insult to injury.
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Friday April 28, 2006
A childrens' weekend

- New World Symphony has their kids’ program, Orchestra Let Loose, and something called the ‘Instrument Petting Zoo’ (pictured). Get kids together, let them play with the instruments (under serious-musician-supervision) and let them hear some zingers from the repertoire. Sounds like a winner. Sunday, 12:30.
- The Wolfsonian screens Wondrous Oblivion, tonight at 7 pm.
- The Miami Performing Arts Center presents Walking Tall Circus, wherein 120 local children in colorful costumes get down with trapeze, juggling, stilt walking, puppetry, and clowning. Saturday, 2 pm, North Shore Park and Youth Center
(501 72nd Street, Miami Beach). Free. (And yes, the MPAC site talks about it like it happened already, and doesn’t give the location, but it’s on the arts calendar, and here, so go figure.)
Just in case you’re an adult
- Tonight, the Rhythm Foundation presents Seu Jorge, who I can’t find a reasonable web site for, but who’s cool; trust me.
- The M-Ensemble presents Seven Guitars. “In the backyard of a Pittsburgh tenement in 1948, friends gather to mourn for a blues guitarist and singer who died just as his career was on the verge of taking off. Pulitzer Prize-winner August Wilson’s “Seven Guitars” is the sixth chapter in the continuing theatrical saga that explores the hope, heartbreak, and heritage of the African American experience in the twentieth century.” Runs for the next few weekends.
- BB King at the Mizner, Sunday.
- The FIU BFA, mentioned previously.
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Thursday July 12, 2007
Here’s the other coral house, on the 10th block of Washington, soon to be a restaurant. Good, but not nearly as quality as the one they’re demolishing.
Friday December 14, 2007
Kreamy 'Lectric Santa weekend

Friday
- Have you seen the Pablo Cano thing [pdf] at MoCA? You have until the 29th. $15.
- The Miami Gay Men’s Chorus holiday show, all weekend.
- More Andy Warhol movies at Miami Beach Cinematheque. Tonight: Vinyl.
- Miami International Conference on Torah & Science, if you please.
- The fucking legendary Kreamy ‘Lectric Santa returns to Miami for three shows. Oops — the first one was yesterday. Two — I give you TWO shows. Tonight and Saturday, plus a lineup of Miami’s best. Go both nights. I wonder if they’ll do any Christmas carols?
Saturday
- Vacant Lot. 7 short films screened at Tower Theater, then a “performance showcase” (?) at Circa 28.
- Hot Import Nights. Some car thing. I couldn’t yawn any wider.
- Battle of the bands finals at Studio A.
- Femme~Fest at Tobacco Road. I’m going to assume this is a night of performances by women’s bands, not a female-only party, but I couldn’t stand to look at their MySpace page long enough to confirm this.
- Roundhouse Miami looks awesome (rock show + video mashup at the planetarium), but $25? Ouch.
Sunday
- Alexis Valdés performs at the Miami-Dade County Auditorium. ¿En español?
- They have such crap in Broward: Symphonic music of Led Zeppelin. Wrong on so many levels. Who thinks this is anything but lame? Update: Brett O’Bourke thinks it’s just spiffy, thank you.
- Hey!: Anita Baker at the James L Knight Center.
- Battle of the bands finals at Studio A, night 2.
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Wednesday October 17, 2007
Florida’s minimum wage starting January will be $6.79, an increase of 12 cents. Gee, thanks.
Wednesday June 7, 2006

I’d heard about a mess surrounding the tower at Opa-locka airport, but I didn’t quite get it until I saw this picture yesterday. This thing is supposed to last three years, and it doesn’t matter that it’s “not a structure that meets any code whatsoever,” because the FAA, who put it up, is exempt from local building codes!
Thursday July 20, 2006
Elisa Turner reviews Snap Judgements. I can’t wait to see the show. (Note to the Herald web team: Please hit “refresh” and look at the articles when you post them. On this one all the body copy is in italics.) (via TnfH)
Friday June 24, 2005
Alanis Morissette Delocator
Alanis Morissette is playing tonight at the Jackie Gleason theater. Please don’t go. Morissette used to be cool, but recently she’s totally sold out, releasing an acoustic version of Jagged Little Pill. As if to make it clear that she wanted the last shreds of her credibility converted to cold hard cash, the album is available exclusively through Starbucks for the first six weeks of its release.
Now that you’re thoroughly disgusted, we give you the Stay Free Alanis Morissette Delocator. The idea behind the original Starbucks Delocator was to help people find non-Starbucks coffee shops. Same idea here.
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Thursday May 11, 2006
It would be just another in a long series of articles on Miami Performing Arts Center’s overbudgetness, but this one is allowing comments, and they’re flying.
A quote from the article (attributed to George Burgess): “Due to several unforeseen events, the project’s schedule sustained significant slippage in the last half of 2005 to place the completion date of Aug. 4, 2006 in jeopardy if aggressive action had not been taken.” And my favorite: ”[Bill] Johnson said the exact amount of extra money won’t be known until the building is finished and all subcontractors’ claims are handled.”
Monday June 19, 2006
FIU refuses Metrorail stop
Larry reports that there’s a problem with the planning of a Metrorail East/West line. Seems that FIU is refusing to allow the last stop to be built on its campus. This is completely insane on a number of levels, and the fact that the FIU administration is sticking to it does not bode well for the U’s future. What’s more, they’re refusing to even comment about their reasoning.
Well, I say they’re taxpayer funded, and mostly attended by locals, and they have to do what we say. Maybe a phone call or two (305-348-2111) to FIU’s (soon to be grossly overpaid) president would help.
Meanwhile, I’m glad to see that something like what I want is in the works for Metrorail. I still say connect it up with Miami Beach, though. There again, residents have to speak up and not let backwards-looking forces kill the deal.
Bonus chuckle: check out the multiple redundant headings on the page with Larry’s column: “Larry Lebowitz / Streetwise / STREETWISE BY LARRY LEBOWITZ / Metrorail project stopped in its tracks / By Larry Lebowitz / llebowitz@MiamiHerald.com.” And in case you forget, his name is repeated again at the end, this time with a different e-mail address. LOLz Herald!
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Wednesday January 3, 2007
Epic
I love me a little digital rendering in the morning. Click for extra mega-sized, with vividly obvious seams between reality and CG. These buildings, under construction on the north side of the Miami River, are modestly titled “Epic.” Prices are about what you’d expect: $500,000 – $5,000,000 per unit. Like all with-it people, places, and things, Epic has both a website and a MySpace. Both are worth visiting, for more spectacular photography.
Seriously, though, this is a primo spot — downtown Miami, surrounded by water on two sides, in the middle of real-city action.
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Monday January 21, 2008
Rick, the blogger formerly known as Stuck on the Palmetto, has got himself a new blog, the South Florida Daily Blog. It’s to come online February 4th (Dude sure knows how to build buzz — an e-mail announcement went out this weekend to a number of local bloggers, but sadly not me.), a “review and discussion of local blogs.”
Monday September 25, 2006

‘Pharaoh’s Dance,’ a site-specific installation by Gary L. Moore on the plaza of the new Carnival Center for the Performing Arts. (via dig)
Monday January 14, 2008
Carnival Center renamed the Arsht Center

On Friday, the performing arts center previously known as Carnival dropped the bomb: it had received a $30 million donation from one Adrienne Arsht, and would now be forever after known as the Arsht Center. Well, actually, the official name is the “Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of Miami-Dade County.” Observations, bullet-point style:
- I think the name is great. The 11-word “real” name is so grotesque that it will never again be uttered, and “Arsht Center” has a nice snappy ring to it, so don’t even go there. (Oops, they went there.)
- There’s the logo, cleaned up as best as I could manage from the photo accompanying the Herald story. It seems to boldly proclaim that the avant-garde implications the first season at the center have been thoroughly and permanently quashed. I actually doubt this is true, and so I hope this is just an ad-hoc logo and they’re working on something a little less generic.
- What’s up with a .com or a .org? If they’ve secured these domains, a nice “website coming” splash would have been helpful, and if not, I’d think that the negotiations would be a lot more, err.. difficult, now: “Hey, we just got $30 million, and we need to buy your domain.”
- It’s very difficult to sound humble on an occasion like this, and Adrienne Arsht didn’t bother trying. Her speech began: “As I look around, it’s clear that I stand here on the shoulders of giants. And what I hope I have accomplished in making this gift is that my shoulders become those which you stand on to take this farther.” Here’s a nice profile on her.
- $30 million is serious money. Of that, Carnival is taking back $10 million of its original donation (That’s very big of you guys. Carnival still sucks.), and $14 million goes to Miami-Dade county government to repay a loan (so why are they added to the name? And what’s with the huffiness?). But what it does show is that there is serious philanthropic money in Miami, boding well, one would think, for the MAM building.
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Monday September 10, 2007
Rotund World visits Miami, and gives it the skeptical eye of a former resident (with photos!): part 1, part 2. “Seen a certain way, at just the right distance, the Miami of today is a teeming, sky-high toy metropolis, as appealing as a dream. It looks like a sleek urban pleasure craft for the twenty-first century’s captains of industry, or whatever they are these days: real estate moguls, no doubt, on-the-lam financiers from Venezuela, summering drug lords, homegrown art collector-pashas. But the newness quickly curdles.”
Wednesday February 20, 2008
Quick interview with Miami Beach’s new Mayor’s chief of staff, AC Weinstein. No on Baylink, yes on more bike paths, vagueness on everything else.
Monday May 22, 2006
The oceans between Miami and Bimini are home to all sorts of stuff, including some major deep-sea reefs, home to many completely unknown creatures. Over the next week, a team will be exploring some of those reefs. “A primary goal of the upcoming expedition . . . will be to search for marine organisms that produce chemical compounds with the potential to treat human diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer’s.”
Monday November 12, 2007
From Saturday’s bike ride. Despite the scenery, I do not recommend that stretch of Krome Ave.







