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Monday May 1, 2006

A day with immigrants


Critical Miami dragged its ass down to Jose Martí Park for the 6 pm vigil, the part of Day Without Immigrants for folks who didn’t think this was a good time to assert themselves by ditching work. The mood was happy and energized. More then half the flags were American, with a healthy representation from various S. American countries, even a few (very few) Cuban. Not a Che shirt in sight, although . . .


This is a little socialist party book stand. Workers’ power and whatnot. The top sign reads “No Deportations No Firings,” the bottom one, “US Troops out of Iraq, Haiti, Guantanamo, Afghanistan.”


A crappy glimpse from the I-95 ramp approach. A decent crowd, not even considering all the people on the streets for blocks around. Jose Martí Park is actually a very nice waterfront spot, though maybe oddly small for a citywide vigil. Everything seemed to go well, though, and you should have no problem catching it on your evening news, what with the TV helicopters circling overhead and TV vans parked around the perimeter. More on Dw/oI at Greener Miami.


Monday November 19, 2007

Bigups to William Cordova, Bert Rodriguez, and Adler Guerrier aka Dig, who are to will be part of the Whitney Biennial next year. (And down with banal mockery.)


Wednesday November 21, 2007

Matti Bower Ladies and gentlemen, the new mayor of Miami Beach, Matti Bower. Update: MVB does not want.



Tuesday August 2, 2005

Village Idiot Escapes

[Contributed by Steve Klotz]

From the front page of Tuesday’s NY Daily News: Dangling from chains off a Manhattan hotel balcony, a man showered midtown with bizarre leaflets about Florida tourism yesterday – triggering a massive police response amid fears he had a bomb.

Why should you care? You probably figure—not without good reason—that this sort of thing goes on routinely in New York on blistering hot summer afternoons. It’s just something to do before Yankee games. Mid-day amusement, a novel approach to snarling traffic between rush hours. Life in the Big Apple. That’s one reason you’re here, not there.

Turns out, though, that the nutjob has a Miami connection. The leaflets were printouts from, a bilingual website containing rants about Miami’s inhospitable crime, parking problems, weather, etc. One thing taken with another, this is the raving of a rather bitter fellow, who may or may not be the bozo hanging from a harness the cops hauled off the 13th floor balcony yesterday.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass who the hell he is or what’s his fuckin story,” one apoplectic commuter snapped, speaking for the entire metropolitan population. “I got things to do and he’s in my way. He should die. Gimme a gun. I’ll do it.”

The public ass-drag used to be a staple of civic disobedience here in the Banana Republic of South Florida. Typically, something especially politically obnoxious happens involving Cubans, either here in Miami or on the island, and the local response devolves into an intentional massive traffic jam, infuriating the population’s remaining majority beyond all rational thought. Naturally, whatever the motivation of the organizers, however noble their mission, the tactic itself pissed off everybody enough that the cause was lost, sympathy evaporated, and the effort backfired like a dyspeptic Metrobus.

The locals have wised up, but apparently we’ve exported the technology. As you see, it doesn’t play any better in New York, particularly in these times when any political bawdiness carries with it the taint of terrorist enterprise. Enough cops and firefighters were deployed against this ratbag to conquer Connecticut: a mere decade ago his crime might have been thought of nothing more serious than ambitious littering.

What this means is, the only effect his anti-tourism campaign might have is to encourage even MORE Noo Yawkuhs to find their way south on I-95, the exact opposite of what he wanted. The website itself, bilingually laughable, doesn’t warrant the bandwidth it takes to visit. I suspect what happened today is yet another glaring example of a Floridian fuckknuckle performing on a national stage. Last week it was a corrupt politician with a self-inflicted case of terminal lead poisoning; before that we had a brain dead woman and a crowd of chancel-dancing cross-wavers, led by Governor Bucktooth and the state police. OMG Next?

[See all Articles by Steve]


Sunday April 17, 2005

La Vraie Difference

La Vraie Difference, 5912, NE 2nd Ave

We all love Tap-Tap. But there’s a nagging doubt about . . . well, its authenticity; it just seems a little too westernized. La Vraie Difference, in Little Haiti, leaves little room for such doubt. No menus; we were told that “Fish, spinach, and fish-kebabs,” were the choices of the day. We ordered the fish-kebabs, and (due to some glitch of communication,)
were served a suculent goat and cabbage stew, fried rice, and an entire plantain each. Tasty stuff, though (and vivid). Would have been even better if we’d though to order beer. A wall-mounted television played a video of a . . . actually, I’m not sure I can describe the video. Chad remarked, “I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life now.”

They do take-out, but believe me, that is not the way to go. Also, the guy at the next table had the fish, and it looked amazing.

La Vraie Difference
5912 NE 2nd Ave, Miami
305 758 1062


Wednesday February 13, 2008

Idiot Sun-Sentinel columnist ‘doesn’t get’ why evolution should be taught in public schools but not intelligent design. Unbelievable how low this newspaper is sinking. Dear Broward residents: I know the Herald leaves something to be desired, but no comparison to this crap, and they have a whole separate Broward edition! (via Bob Norman)


Thursday July 5, 2007

Royal Castle

Miami Memories has a great post up about Royal Castle.


Wednesday April 25, 2007

Friends With You written up in Wired magazine this month.


Tuesday January 29, 2008

Look here: Kyle, the proprietor of all-time best local blog Miamity, long ago shut down, has a new blog.


Wednesday November 7, 2007

LOL: The slogan of the City of North Miami Beach is “Now More Beautiful!”


Wednesday November 28, 2007

“You get your ass elected to make as much money as you can get away with. Most of the time you won’t even get caught anyway. But even if you do, your fate is in the hands of some dickless entity like ‘state ethics investigators’ who in turn use their own authority to position themselves for future consideration.” — Klotz doesn’t pull punches.


Monday May 12, 2008

“I do not believe that the effort required of my staff to gather and organize the information regarding job descriptions and cost of all board office renovations … is an effective use of their time.” — School Superintendent Rudy Crew, responding to a request for information from the School Board. From Michael Lewis’ column on how the School Board operates, which is a must-read. (Among info Crew is not interested in providing: where the overtime is going.)


Tuesday April 10, 2007

5 Architectural firms have been asked to submit proposals for a new Miami Science Museum building to go next to the MAM building in Museum Park.


Wednesday October 25, 2006

Verticus advocates for a Disney-style monorail to run from downtown Miami to South Beach. Link directly to rendering and reasons.


Tuesday June 26, 2007

A super-comprehensive rundown of South Beach hostels. Are there hostels anywhere else in Miami?


Monday December 12, 2005

Gulfstream horse track revamp

The old grandstand was cool, but we’re enjoying how the new Gulfstream Park building, on Biscayne Blvd at the northern edge of the county, is shaping up. No doubt they’re going to ruin it with McMansion flourishes before all is said and done. Why do they always have to do that?


Monday April 16, 2007

This is rich: Carl Hiaasen serves up a stale summary of the Don Imus story, taking time out to call Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson “hypocrites and phonies.”


Sunday October 7, 2007

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!

In preparation for tomorrow’s post, I did a little housekeeping, fixed some nagging problems, and presto: this shit is validating. For now. And only Transitional. But I’m getting serious about this. U: A few extremely minor other changes are lurking. Let me know if anything looks broken.


Friday January 12, 2007

Art Deco weekend

Vicenta Casañ


Wednesday November 8, 2006

WTF, Herald?!

The Herald's graph showing Jim Davis at 53%, the Herald's headline declaring Christ 'Florida's new governor'

Check out the Herald: As of 5:41 am, this page shows Jim Davis at 53.55%, and this page, not to mention the cover, is declaring Christ the new governor. WHAT THE HELL, GUYSPEOPLE CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF!

I know it’s been a long night for y’all, but is nobody at the the controls over there? Update: Eddie points out that the graph represents only the voters in Miami-Dade.


Wednesday July 11, 2007

Florida marrige ammendment

“Inasmuch as a marriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized.”

Those words will appear on the November 2008 ballot, a proposed amendment to the Florida state constitution. It’s intended to ban domestic partnership benefits that some cities and counties grant to gay couples (Broward County, Miami Beach, Key West, and West Palm Beach). These bans have passed in 28 states, and have failed nowhere except Arizona.

Now, I disagree with the so-called social conservatives on almost everything, but I grant them that some of their issues have complicated moral and other issues surrounding them. But their opposition to homosexuality has no such complexity — it’s plain and simple wrong. It’s a small-minded fear of the different, lazily tied to a gross misreading of Genesis 19 (which features a condemnation of homosexual rape, and which just as a kicker has the guy offer his daughters up for rape to protect two angels visiting him; but I digress). It’s an attempt to stop people from doing what they very much want to do, when said actions do absolutely no harm to anyone. The fact that a majority of Americans support these bans is abhorrent and, frankly, a little incomprehensible.

Well. Florida Red & Blue is an organization put together to fight the amendment. Because some argue that it could be interperted to stop all domestic partnerships, the group has chosen straight couples to represent them. They have a pretty good shot of success, in part because constitutional amendments require a 60% majority to pass.

But really, can’t we get past this already? Wouldn’t it help the anti-gay crowd to realize that they’re on the wrong side of history, that in the very near future these laws will look the way Jim Crow laws from the 1950s South look today? Wouldn’t it be nice to relax a little bit and, you know, live and let live? What do you say, guys?


Thursday June 23, 2005

Cop Cars Torched

In an obviously GTA-VC inspired incident, some kids (?) threw a Molotov cocktail into a police parking lot in Miami Shores, blowing a few of them (the cars) up. Now, we’re all for authority-directed victimless violence (especially when it involves blowing shit up), but there’s something sad about this. ‘Cause we have a pretty good idea of what happened. In fact, Miami Shores is famous for this shit:

We’re guessing we have here a fairly wealthy two-parent family, where both adults work their butts off in jobs they love (say, a mom lawyer and a dad doctor), put in crazy overtime, and compensate for not being around for their kids with money. You end up with spoiled brats. Get a few of these brats together, and shit tends to escalate. Next thing you know, they’re booty-bumping crank, and competing to see who can do the best rampage. Dang. You need a license to own a dog, right?


Wednesday January 30, 2008

Ye election results: YES on slot machines, YES on the property tax amendment, YES on the Miami “bill of rights,” McCain, Clinton, and of course it wouldn’t be elections in Florida without some clusterfuck disenfranchisement.


Wednesday December 6, 2006

zOMG the media


Sam I am

free food


The Basel Media reception. Nobody cares, so I’m going to make it super-brief. Captions, clockwise from top left:

Next up: art.


Wednesday June 21, 2006

Transit Man has a pretty great rant about parking around MPAC. I think his point is that there’s public transportation around, so less emphasis should be paid to a parking shortage. To which I say: more power to you! On the other hand, opera fans are older, well-dressed people. I find it difficult to picture 2,200 of them riding the rails to get to the theater. But overall the point is well taken. (p.s. The site design still needs some work. Can we have some margins between the text and the edges of the column? And can we not have a “MORE>>” link with each article witch doesn’t take you to anything more?)


Friday August 10, 2007

Washout weekend


Actually, who knows? Yesterday they were repeating 70% rain chance all weekend, now it’s down to 60%, and judging by recent performance, what we may have is a couple of isolated showers and beautiful weather otherwise. Not much happening anyway:


Wednesday September 27, 2006

Huh? Did someone say gentrification?


Monday February 4, 2008

As they do every so often, New York Times surveys the Miami scene. An eclectic collection of galleries, clubs, and other odds and ends (e.g. Lost and Found Saloon, of which a review is forthcoming right here, and the recently mentioned Aventura Mall art collection). (via NefariousGirl)


Monday April 16, 2007

Manola runs down healthy food spots on the Beach.


Tuesday May 22, 2007

What's up with the primary?

Yesterday, Florida moved its primary to January 29th, which means it’s preceded only the Iowa and Nevada caucuses and the New Hampshire primary. It puts us ahead of Super Tuesday, when most of the states hold their primaries.

This sort of leapfrogging is bad for the system (humor me a second), because there’s no logical place for it to end — nobody wants to be at the irrelevant end of the process, and the greater the time between the primaries and the general elections, the more wasteful and boring the whole process gets. And sure enough, the national Democrat and Republican parties wagged a finger at Florida about doing this, and both have threatened to take away 50% of our delegates. We’ll see if they follow through.

The standard arguments for the move is that Florida is one of the most important swing states in the country, and there’s no reason for us to have near-irrelevant primaries at the end of the process. So why not just move our date to Super Tuesday with the parties’ blessing? Well for one thing, South Carolina is on January 29th. Why should they get a first say about the candidates?

But for that matter, why should Iowa and New Hampshire? This is the problem with United States presidential primaries — the whole system stinks. I’m sure folks are real nice in Iowa and New Hampshire. But let’s face it — they’re hicks! Nothing wrong with that, but why in God’s name should this ultra-homogeneous (~97% white, overwhelmingly farmers, mostly Christian) group of people play the crucial role in our election process year after year after year? The only possible defense is a feeble appeal to tradition. Please. This is no way to run a country.

So Florida’s move is selfish, unreasonable, and destabilizing. But it’s destabilizing in a good way. We’re risking our delegates to bring down this idiotic system. When Iowa, Nevada, New Hampshire, and South Carolina move their primaries to February 5th, we’ll do the same. That’ll never happen, you say? Well, they won’t do it voluntarily, sure. But If this keeps up the national parties will make them move. Having all the primaries on one day is far from a perfect system (if you want to get wild and crazy with it maybe consider the random primary proposal), but at least it makes sense.

Oh by the way, the bill that brings this change also mandates new paper-trailed voting machines. No time to think this through, though, we’re going to find some “good enough” machines that print a little receipt and it’s going to be disaster city all over again. I predict that whatever new machines they get will have immediately-obvious flaws, we’ll be replacing them again in a year or two, and I’ll be looking for someone else to sock.