Wednesday October 25, 2006

wtf Dogma Grill?

dogma grill

Our litigious, intellectual property-obsessed, too-much-time-on-its-goddamned-hands society is running amok again. Our own local heroes, Dogma Grill (I will not link them in a house . . . you know the drill) has successfully sued another fancy hot-dog restaurant into submission.

We expect this crap from big stupid corporations, but a small local business? For shame. Oh, wait. But just you wait for the details: the name of the business, which would have caused confusion in the consumer’s minds? “Hot Dogma.” That’s right: the only similarity is the stupid pun. Turns out our local heroes p0wn that pun. More confusion: the offending restaurant is in Pittsburgh. I suppose Miami residents on vacation up there would have somehow associated the restaurants, and somehow . . . done harm to something, is what Dogma Grill, or rather it’s owner (a former MTV executive) was thinking. Good job, guys. Way to stick it to the man.

Pittsburgh residents are rightly pissed, but there’s not much they can do. But there’s something we can do, allright: get our hot dogs somewhere else. Anyone know a good place that serves fancy schmancy dogs?

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  1. John    Wed Oct 25, 10:26 AM #  

    This owner is a f#cking lunatic. Months ago he left his sunglasses at the Biscayne location, and we he returned they weren’t there. So the owner docked EVERYONE’S tips until they were returned or paid for, EVEN THOSE WHO WEREN’T THERE AT THE TIME. GET YOUR OVERPRICED DOGS SOMEWHERE ELSE.



  2. oldswish    Wed Oct 25, 10:28 AM #  

    Of Course! The fresh new Target that just opened at Midtown…or my personal favorite…Costco food court. BTW Costco pays its employees well and offers them good benefits…a lot more than can be said for Dogmeat.



  3. Oscar Mayer    Wed Oct 25, 10:37 AM #  

    Not all dogs are created the same.

    .



  4. Alex    Wed Oct 25, 10:56 AM #  

    I suspect this has more to do with a desire to take the Dogma Grill concept nationally in the near future.



  5. Chihuahua    Wed Oct 25, 10:58 AM #  

    Oh no, another stupid human thinking inside the bun! Shame on him!



  6. Manola Blablablanik    Wed Oct 25, 11:00 AM #  

    Damn it. I so thought of the Karma concept years before they did. Where’s my agent?

    So what about that place called Franktitude? The paper says that’s also on the beach, which part?



  7. Gus    Wed Oct 25, 12:39 PM #  

    Have you heard about my new hot dog stand? It’s called: Dogmah. The slogan is: where 9” is just average ;)



  8. NicFitKid    Wed Oct 25, 03:30 PM #  

    Go give Arbetter’s a try. They’re local, and they’ve been serving up tasty, no nonsense good old-fashioned hot dogs since the 70s at least. My personal favorite is the mustard and sauerkraut. Pretty sure every dog is under two bucks, but I haven’t been in a while. The counter dude (always this jovial old guy everytime I’ve gone) will shout back your order to the “kitchen” a mere two feet away and running parallel to the counter. No hoity-toity in this place, but no sullen wage-slaves either. You can find them on 8747 Bird Road (SW 40 Street, in Westchester as if ya didn’t know). Probably out of the way for most of Critical’s readers, but hey, good dogs are hard to find.



  9. Barca    Wed Oct 25, 04:58 PM #  

    Dogma serves disgusting food anyway. How they manage to stay aflot I will never understand.



  10. Lesley    Wed Oct 25, 05:03 PM #  

    there’s a new place downtown called Frankitude. It’s a chain. Herald wrote about it recently. They even have salmon dogs. Iw. Stick to the classic. I hear it rocks.



  11. J-J    Wed Oct 25, 05:06 PM #  

    Dogma on the beach sucks and the owner looks like first class a-hole after that lame sunglasses incident. BTW, I never see any costumers at the beach location, so we’ll see how long that one stays open…Dogma = LAME



  12. I was there    Wed Oct 25, 05:35 PM #  

    Two of my co-workers got sick the LAST time they ate at Dogma on Biscayne Blvd.

    The staff at the beach location, when I went, seemed to be part of a Prison Work Release program…they were rude and uninterested.

    Remember folks, hotdogs are actually one step above DOG FOOD, hence the name.

    I say Eat Salad.



  13. The Lone Gringa    Wed Oct 25, 09:05 PM #  

    Dogma’s yuck. Arbetter’s is the way to go if you’ve got the gas money. If not, there’s always 7-11’s 2-for-$2 dog deal… yum.



  14. Tere    Thu Oct 26, 10:18 AM #  

    Whatever, Dogma. Serve me some Nathan’s or Hebrew National and I’m a happy camper.



  15. whl    Thu Oct 26, 12:12 PM #  

    i go to dogma on a regular basis. the staff is a bunch of crumb bums who goof off and get the orders all mixxed up. I’ll take a breather from them.



  16. conductor    Tue Oct 31, 11:41 AM #  

    Arbetter is the best hot dog in town. You have to go to (gasp) the mainland though, to westchester (gasp) to be precise.



  17. srcohiba    Tue Oct 31, 12:14 PM #  

    actually, to get a real dog, you need to go to broward (since Mr. COney Island’s closed in NMB many years ago)

    Hot Dog Heaven on Sunrise Blvd. near my office has true Chicago Style Dogs, and great chili dogs as well. Best I’ve had. Arbetters is ok. I lived in that hood, and ate there for some time, although, there used to be a place I liked better on Bird and 72nd near the RR track. It closed down ages ago too….



  18. Alex    Tue Oct 31, 09:53 PM #  

    Do not argue with conductor and Arbetter. Especially with yellow Food Service mustard.

    We tried Hot Dog Heaven, not that good. I’m a Dogma fan myself.



  19. Duval    Mon Nov 27, 01:04 PM #  

    What an a-hole. I can’t wait until this choad receives the smote of bankruptcy.



  20. Dave    Mon Jan 7, 09:27 AM #  

    The difference is that Arbetter is owned by Ronnie Arbetter who is about the nicest human being on earth. Ronnie has over 30 years given innumerable young deserving athletes a job on the counter. Ronnie is currently battling cancer and all of us that know him wish him luck in the battle.



  21. Carlos Miller    Mon Jan 7, 02:02 PM #  

    Well you know what they say, it’s a dogma eat dogma world.

    The owner is clearly barking up the wrong tree in this one. Somebody should put a leash on him.

    Sometimes, you just have to let sleeping dogs lie. Perhaps his bark is worse than his bite.

    Regardless, I’m putting Dogma in the doghouse after hearing that sunglass story. I’ll be doggoned before I go back.

    I used to go Arbetter’s when I was a kid, but they boil their hot dogs rather than grill them.

    Costco also boils their hot dogs, but you’re right, oldswish, they treat their employees very well, which is why the employees generally give good customer.

    Costco is one of my favorite stores.

    One of the best hot dogs I’ve had in Miami is at Duffy’s Tavern on Red Road, just north of Coral Way.

    It’s called the Death Dog and it is grilled.