Tuesday May 17, 2005

You Can Learn to Drive: Part 1

Busted-ass police car People, there are a lot of wack drivers out there. Now, we care about out readers. So with that in mind, here are a few things you should know as you drive about town.

1. As you sit in the driver’s seat, you’ll probably be focused on the steering wheel. You may have mastered it. Great. Now let’s look right behind it; you’ll notice a sort of lever on the left side of the wheel, which can be pushed up or down. This is your turn signal control. It goes up if you’re turning right or changing lanes to the right, down for left.

You may be thinking, “but Florida law says I don’t have to signal lane changes.” True; but you’ll want to, anyway. There’s a slightly coked-up real estate agent in a G55 AMG barreling down that other lane, and that turn signal might just save your life.

4-way stop 2. Many of you have problems with 4-way stops. Here’s how it works. You stop. If anyone else is already standing at the stop, you let them go. If someone’s pulling in to the stop, you can just go: no need to wait! In fact, since you slow everybody else down by waiting, some people may assume you’ve fallen asleep in your car, and just keep going through the stop, once again putting you in jeopardy. So be safe and don’t sit there waiting for the other car to come to a complete stop.

3. If you’re on a street with more then one lane going in your direction, you may find yourself traveling next to a car going the same speed as you. In this case, you will want to slow down or speed up, and get in the same lane as that car. This will prevent people who want to pass tailgating you, and decrease your chance of death.

4. See the operator’s manual of your car on the correct use of your high-beams.

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  1. JDee    Tue May 17, 12:15 PM #  

    I had no idea Florida law doesn’t require signal changes! I recently moved down here from ny and can’t get over how these idiots (sorry) can NOT drive for anything. I can’t count how many times I’ve nearly been mowed down or hit someone else becuase they just came into the lane without warning. Thank you for clearing this baffling question up for me.
    What kind of place doesn’t require signal changes???

  2. Miami Harold    Tue May 17, 08:09 PM #  

    I don’t know about you,
    but I leave my turn signal on ALL the time
    in case I decide to turn somewhere
    a mile or 10 down the highway.
    —Otto Octogenarian

  3. harumi    Thu May 19, 12:16 AM #  

    I don’t like people who turn signals for no reason. Are you gonna turn or what!? make up your ming!! it’s confusing!!!
    and It must bother driver the ticking noise.

  4. vrah    Thu May 19, 01:34 PM #  

    The best is to drive with your emergency lights on. Nobody can accuse you of making turn without a turn signal that way.

  5. cohen    Thu May 19, 02:06 PM #  

    emergency lights, are the way to go,,,

  6. Miami Harold    Thu May 19, 05:15 PM #  

    Another trick to expedite your trip:
    never stop at intersections
    with 4-Way stop signs.
    Just barrel on through.
    Everybody else is either stopped already
    or preparing to stop.
    You can’t lose!
    And if anybody is crude enough to honk a horn,
    just flip ‘em the finger.
    —A. Newyawkuh

  7. alesh    Thu May 19, 09:22 PM #  

    There’s a certain amount of game theory involved in that strategy, in that it works better the fewer people that are doing it.

    It pisses me off when I’m approaching a 4-way stop and someone is sitting there, waiting to make sure I’ll stop. Sometimes, just to answer their question, i really will barrel through. Serves them right, slowing everything down.