Friday December 2, 2005
[Contributed by Steve Klotz]
While Miami hosts Art Basel, playing host to arts aficionados from around the world, what’s happening in the entwined worlds of local sports and politics? Specifically, how’s that baseball stadium deal coming along?
According to news reports in the Miami Hurled, the deal is as dead as Ugueth Urbina’s pitching career. Referencing Marlin’s president David Samson, Miami city manager Joe Arriola commented, “As long as we have a little boy doing a man’s job, the stadium is not going to happen in this city.”
Eager to confirm the City Manager’s assessment, Samson reportedly replied, “It is very sad to me that an appointed city official finds it necessary to continue to comment on my physical attributes.’’
You can’t make up shit this good. The irony here is sweeter and thicker than stone crab mustard. Over on the Beach we have a zillion prancing poofsters flitting around from exhibition to exhibition, oohing and aahing with pinkies raised, conducting themselves like citizens of the world while an admiring world looks on. Meanwhile, downtown the great big hairy-chested sportsholes and cigar-chawing power pricks conduct a pissing contest in the headlines. Who’s your Daddy, little bitches?
In fact, the Marlins president does come off as the playground patsy, the spoiled little dork whom the big boys pick on (while giggling girls watch), whose lunch they eat and who limps on home all whiny and wedgisized. Listening to him on the radio does nothing to change this impression. And if it looks like dogshit, and it smells like dogshit??
But the City Manager is out of bounds. And both sides illustrate what a rube-filled backwater Miami can be. A civilized, sophisticated, and most of all competent coalition of private industry (including the Marlins) and government could take this opportunity to assemble a deal that yields a stadium, an enterprise zone, transportation, and a revitalized neighborhood, but this pack of hooting gibbons can’t even keep grunt in harmony.
Fortunately, with Art Basel dominating the news, Miami escapes the embarrassment of showcasing the willy-waving weenies that pass for civic leaders around here.comments powered by Disqus