Wednesday March 26, 2008

The ‘get the fuck out of my lane’ law is getting another shot in Tallahassee. Yay!

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  1. CharlieMack    Wed Mar 26, 12:56 PM #  

    This law needs to be passed and signs need to be posted so people know the rules of the road. Most people here in Miami do not know about the left lane rule – leading to a lot of road rage. THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING AND FASTER TRAFFIC ONLY!!

  2. Mikhail    Wed Mar 26, 01:34 PM #  

    Enforcement is the key…. The law is all fine and dandy, but if they fail to enforce, nothing will change.

    Let’s hope they enforce the hell out of it!

  3. squathole    Wed Mar 26, 05:25 PM #  

    Enforcing this law would probably tie traffic up even more than it is already, as well as clog up the courts. A better alternative would be to erect a series of watchtowers along selected roads and empower sharpshooters to shatter windshields of offending drivers. After a few months, most drivers would catch on to the game and behave themselves. And if not, die.

  4. joel    Thu Mar 27, 12:50 AM #  

    re: squathole
    the watchtower idea is brilliant.

  5. swampthing    Thu Mar 27, 07:12 AM #  

    this proposal is another outrage. the road belongs to everyone, + 40 – 55, when smokey is not around people drive as fast as they feel comfortable. we don’t need more road-rules or cameras, just more chill-pills.

  6. FerfeLaBat    Thu Mar 27, 11:11 AM #  

    Every year SunPass sends out a survey. Every year I recommend that they build time-out stations along the major highways. These stations would have a huge beam across the road with a giant magnet. Cameras would identify the cars being driven badly. The magnet would swoop down and lift the car off the road, and gently place them in the time-out area where a large movie screen is showing pastoral meadows and playing calming background sounds. Subliminal messsages in the video and audio telling the unwilling audience that they are assholes would be optional depending on who was manning the station.

    Every year SunPass sends me a letter thanking me for participating in their survey and for making a suggestion.



    Squathole. Squathole. Squathole.

    You can’t shoot them. But. You can fuck with them unmercifully.

    I also suggest that they sell seasonal SunPasses that play partial holiday tunes when you go through a toll. I figure they can break Jingle Bells into five parts and I’ll get the entire song by the time I get to work and back. If your phone can play <b>MegaDeth</b>, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to get that, or <b>Disturbed’s</b> <i>Down with the Sickness</i> or SOMETHING beyond sickly-assed beeps on your SunPass transponder.

  7. Adam    Sun Mar 30, 08:26 AM #  

    I don’t think enforcement is as big of an issue as it seems like it would be. The people going slowly in the fast lane generally don’t seem to be aware that it is the fast lane at this point, or that fast is a relative idea.

  8. Rick    Sun Mar 30, 12:33 PM #  

    Ferfe: I like the idea.

    Also, just FYI, CM doesn’t use HTML coding in its comments. It’s like you’ve entered another dimension here.


  9. Robert    Mon Mar 31, 11:45 AM #  

    that rule applies to Turnpike traffic. But if i’m on 836 going 65 on the left lane.. i don’t need to move for anyone, especially for some fool that wants to go 85. Slow it down, or start driving reckless, but i don’t need to move for your speeding ass.

  10. alesh    Mon Mar 31, 11:50 AM #  


    Not legally you don’t have to, and maybe you wouldn’t even after this law passes. But you SHOULD, that’s the point.

    Not only is it the civilized thing to do, but it helps YOU, too. Having cars swerving around you is dangerous, and people who drive faster spend less time on the road, and so improve the traffic congestion.

    Trust me — we do this in Europe and it works really well. In generally, anything that gets you away from the “my way is right, any anyone doing anything different is wrong and should be stoppped” way of thinking is a good thing.

  11. squathole    Mon Mar 31, 04:41 PM #  

    It’s easy, Robert. One rule. Keep Right Except to Pass. What the fuck are you doing in the far left lane all by yourself?

    Nice of you to volunteer for the first windshield-spider-webbing.

  12. Robert    Mon Mar 31, 05:01 PM #  

    This is the thing. No one respects speed limits. Go with the flow. No need to go 85mph because you damn well please. I understand not tying up traffic, but if you’re going with the flow, then it’s ok. If you want to go 85-90mph, then you shouldn’t because that to me is much more dangerous than someone going with the flow of traffic. We don’t live in Europe.

    If i’m on the left lane, maybe i’m about to get off on a left lane exit.

    Point of the matter is that this doesn’t excuse people going 90mph. That’s dangerous. I’d rather have people going 65mph on the left lane than having idiots going 90mph on the left lane. In their brand new leased Mercedes Benz.

  13. alesh    Mon Mar 31, 05:12 PM #  


    What you’re saying is, “it’s ok for people to speed, so long as they only speed as much as I say they can speed.”

    That’s messed up, dude. “Go with the flow” is fine, but there are different flows on the highway, and that is where “slower traffic stay right” comes from.

    If you’re the slower traffic, get, as i said, out of my fucking lane. I’m serious about this, and I’ll do nasty things to people who don’t get out of my way. (Hence the name of the bill.) You’ve been warned.

    And BTW, it’s a BMW, and it’s owned, and I’ll guarantee you I paid less for it then you paid for your car.

  14. squathole    Mon Mar 31, 05:51 PM #  

    If you’re in the left lane because you’re about to exit, FINE! If you’re in the left lane because you’re going to exit left eventually, like 20 miles down, NOT FINE.

    If you’re in the left lane because that’s where you feel like being and fuck everybody else because you decide how fast everybody should go, NOT FINE.

    If by “going with the flow” you’re tying up people behind you who want to go faster, NOT FINE. Let the cops ticket speeders, that’s what they’re paid to do. They don’t need your help. You’re just CAUSING ROAD RAGE!

    MOVE OVER! Christ on a bike. “Keep Right Except to Pass” is about as basic to driving as “Put Big Toe in First” is to putting on your shoes.

  15. Rick    Mon Mar 31, 07:11 PM #  

    There are basically two people that sit out in the left lane cruising: the enforcers and the stupid.

    Robert has a little mix of both but primarily he’s an enforcer which means that he feels it’s his job to enforce the laws of the road.

    Here’s my tip for Robert. Wear your “enforcer” hat at stop lights, too. Especially when you’re in the left hand turn lane. As soon as the arrow goes green, gun it and charge for the turn.

    You’ll be “right” and obeying all the laws there, too, Robert. Hopefully you’ll be around to argue that point with the guy who ran the light and T-boned you halfway through the intersection.


  16. Roads Rager    Mon Mar 31, 09:11 PM #  

    Once you drive down Coral Way and you see these little viejitos driving 20 miiles BELOW the speed limit when you have to get somewhere and you’ll see why this law needs to pass badly.

    While we’re on the subject of Coral Way / Roads, here’s a piece of a letter I wrote Commish Joe “Traffic Circle” Sanchez (forgive the grammar, it was written in a hurry.)

    “..regarding the traffic circles in the Roads. I understand that the majority of them were put for safety concerns. However, there are three new “traffic calming” devices that do the opposite.

    1. The circle at the entrance to SW 25 Road does nothing but create a backup at 1st Avenue, between the people trying to get on I-95 and those of us who continue toward Brickell. I take 1st Avenue because of the delays on Coral Way, and the “Don’t Block the Box” ordinance is CONSISTENTLY blocked. It is treacherous, and one has to honk, in order to continue down 1st Avenue. I sympathize with the people trying to get on 95, after navigating a circle and then waiting for the light. I have tried calling Miami Police to observe that intersection to no avail, and am afraid there will be an accident if nothing is done for the motorists.

    2. Continuning down 1st Avenue, to 15th Road, there is a light before South Miami, a circle, and then the light at Brickell. There doesn’t appear to be a left arrow at Brickell, causing another backup. If I recall, there was a light at South Miami and 15th Road which got replaced by the circle at the behest of T. Sinclair Jacobs, and some developer in that area. The stop and go is again an inconvenience to drivers, and certainly not efficient in these times of exaggerated gas prices.

    3. Similarly, why was another stop sign put on 1st Avenue? The people turning left or right from 27th Road have a stop; this is a T-intersection, and there’s another stop already on 26th road as well as the backup on 25th Road.

    I know Miami 21 is geared toward trying to get us to use mass transit. Idealistically, I should be able to use Metrorail since I’m 3 blocks from a stop, and my office is in Brickell. I do use Metrorail when I go to a Heat game or have something else leisurely to do. However, with having to walk 3 blocks in 90 degree summers, waiting on the train, and dealing with some of the more unsavory elements on the train (I have a few horror stories), I much prefer driving. All I ask is that yourself and our other commisioners also take the interests of DRIVERS into consideration when placing traffic calming devices. Thank you for your time.”

    It has yet to get answered. Of course let’s not hesitate to add that the circle replacing the light on South Miami and 15th Road was requested by the developer/owner of One Broadway and the other old people on the Brickell Homeowners Association.

    So back to topic, any law that speeds up traffic flow needs to get passed in a hurry!

  17. Robert    Tue Apr 1, 05:27 PM #  

    It just goes to show the nasty drivers we have on the road, by just the few comments that have been posted on here.

    I’m only expressing my opinion. I don’t need to be bashed, cursed, or blamed for my opinion.

    You guys are really on some weird trip thinking your reasoning is more justified than mine. We all make valid points and for this reason that law (God willing) will never pass.

    That’s all we need is to have more ignorant folk like yourselves speeding down the 836 at 90MPH.

    You all are crazy, and i can’t wait until your stuck behind me, while i smoke my cig and you can’t do shit about it.

    LOL. Good luck out there. Happy driving!

  18. Roads Rager    Wed Apr 2, 12:01 AM #  

    Robert, are you so inconsiderate in driving slow that you fail to see there MIGHT just be a reason why the other people need to drive faster than usual? Like getting to work, specifically if your job is a doctor and you’re ON CALL?

    That’s why people like you get cut off on the road!

  19. squathole    Wed Apr 2, 09:26 AM #  

    Amazing, isn’t it? The poster child for the cause of Road Rage has stepped up and identified himself.

    All this time I figured it was just people who had no idea how to drive. Turns out they’re willfully inconsiderate and dense as manhole covers.

    I reiterate my contribution in comment #3.

  20. FerfeLaBat    Fri Apr 4, 05:41 PM #  

    I’ll be passing your ass on Monday Robert.

  21. adam    Mon Apr 7, 11:54 AM #  

    I totally just passed Robert on the right. It’s kind of unnatural and awkward, but I guess his mamma never taught him how to drive.