Tuesday February 19, 2008

“My worry is that Grove patrons are going to move in on Downtown, and Downtown clubs already have filled their douche quota. I shudder to think of being in the same room with a gaggle of Kendall girls with overly tight jeans that give them that muffin top look they love paired with their favorite top from Forever XXI.” — Duran’s reaction to the new 3 am closing time for downtown Coconut Grove night clubs.



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  1. Kathie    Wed Feb 20, 07:06 AM #  

    OMG, I thought I was the only one who noticed that these girls must not own a mirror to go prancing around with their hip fat bulging out of their jeans. Who told them the muffin top is an attractive look?

  2. Tally    Wed Feb 20, 10:30 AM #  

    You know what totally fulfills the universal douchebag quota and, in fact, far exceeds it? Miami Nights. Seriously, this presumptuous, misogynistic asshole. If he’s going to call females fat, or “bitches” and whatever.. and that’s his norm, as it occurs in his posts with near regularity… then he needs some serious self-examination. Because I’ve seen him and THAT’S a fat bitch. And not just a muffin top. In fact, I’d say he could be likened to pretty much every type of pastry and/or baked good. The jiggle of flan, the density of a fudge cake, the shiny glaze of a doughnut. It’s all there, his breakfast, lunch, dinner, and “fourth meal.”

  3. Duran    Wed Feb 20, 10:47 AM #  

    My feelings are hurt Tally because I’m so obese. Jenny Craig just doesn’t work :(

    Get a fuckin’ sense of humor ‘cause you need one.

  4. b.a.c.    Wed Feb 20, 12:23 PM #  

    Us, Miami Nights, Douche Bags? Hrrrrmph! ~

  5. Duran    Wed Feb 20, 12:59 PM #  

    No worries B.A.C., technically I say the things I say to have people like Tally eating out of my hands. Anger is my bedfellow.

  6. Mike aka MEFX1    Wed Feb 20, 01:44 PM #  

    “Kendall girls with overly tight jeans that give them that muffin top look they love paired with their favorite top from Forever XXI.”….wow….instant classic.

  7. FIRREALZ    Wed Feb 20, 04:27 PM #  

    true bro coz the UM crowd in the GROOVE is mad CLASSY… oh yeah white girls with straight blonde hair and brown rootsss, ride with it.

    oh and its XXI not forever 21.

  8. Muffins 4 Ever    Wed Feb 20, 05:21 PM #  

    Hey, I had to eat a LOT of chicken wings to develop my fine specimen of a muffin top.

    But closing bars at 3 is just bad for Coconut Grove businesses catering to the drunken tourist/college crowd… and for sober drivers unlucky enough to be driving on Miami Streets at 3:30 AM.

  9. alesh    Wed Feb 20, 05:30 PM #  

    I have to tell you that I found this debate just absurd. No particularly good arguments on either side, hence this being the only mention of it here.

    Meanwhile, a little bit of a muffin top can be kind of hot.

  10. Duran    Wed Feb 20, 05:38 PM #  

    Muffins 4 Ever in true Hialeah/Kendall fashion you need to spell your name Muffinz 4 Eva or Muffinz 4 Lif. Get with the program!

  11. b.a.c.    Wed Feb 20, 06:14 PM #  

    Alesh: There is no argument for muffin tops. If a grrl has one then they need to consider buying lose hanging clothes. Or rethink their style to accommodate that eye sore. PLEASE!

  12. Muffins 4 Ever    Thu Feb 21, 05:53 PM #  

    Duran, that would only be if I was a Kendall/Hialeah muffin top girl.

    I am representing for all those South Beach muffin top girls out there.

    No, we don’t fit in with the SoBe models, but just wait until hurricane season “rolls” around. We don’t even need to buy hurricane supplies. The muffin acts like a camel hump.

    Very crafty, huh? Survival of the less fit.

  13. MYLES O'STOOLEY    Fri Feb 22, 10:43 AM #  

    Ahhh, now all the Grove fools are going to be invading my private clubs that just me and my boys go to to get our drink on…..I guess I have to look forward to big crowds at space, nocturnal, and studio A….I’m so bummed bro…