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Tuesday July 3, 2007
Your 4th of July
I don’t mean to lecture you people, but let’s not get engulfed with nationalism this 4th. Maybe go read up on the American Revolution, or better yet, the Washington Post report on Dick Cheney (you know, who fights every day for the right of our troops do far worse then what was pictured in those Abu Ghraib photos).
But OK, July 4th is a celebration of our history, and a chance to party, and — well, there are at least a dozen government-sponsored “parties” scheduled for tomorrow. Rebecca Mandelman compiled a comprehensive list of them all posted at Wormhole Lab. More what-to-do’s are at New Times and About.com. A sampling (all these events are FREE):
- Key Biscayne 4th of July Parade Yes, it’s a big parade, replete with a jet flyover. Starts at 11 am, so a portion of this might happen before the storms kick in. Village Green Park; 400 Crandon Blvd.
- America’s Birthday Bash at Bayfront Park, 5 – 9 pm. Music, food, the dreaded “family fun,” and fireworks. Possibly best enjoyed from Watson Island.
- Baptist Hospital Extravaganza, 6 – 9:30 pm. Similar idea — food, music, “fun,” followed by fireworks, but Kendall style. And no, I’m not sure what that means. And no, I don’t really want to know. Baptist Hospital; 8900 North Kendall Dr, 6 – 9:30 pm.
- City of Miami Beach Fourth of July Celebration: Miami 25/7 The annual South Beach party, which includes a citizenship ceremony for children from all over the world. Plus latin music. And yes, fireworks. (On the beach, vaguely centered on 10th Street.)
- Coconut Grove: The Grove is too cool to just have one 4th thing. Witness: Old Fashioned July Fourth at the Barnacle (Barnacle State Historic Site; 3485 Main Highway.) Tours of the historic house, plus period-inspired activities for kids. Bring a picnic, but it’s 11 am – 3:30 pm only, so then head over to . . . Coconut Grove July 4th Celebration (Peacock Park, 2820 McFarlane Rd.) The usual food, fun, music, fireworks, plus a hot dog eating contest.
- Fourth of July Celebration at Upper Eastside With lunch courtesy of the Boy Scouts (hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill) and dinner from the Legion’s kitchen (ribs and chicken)(note to vegetarians: you are not patriotic), plus music, kids rides, and fireworks.
- Barbecue at a friend’s house. Seriously. The crowds will be more manageable, and while while there will no doubt be “children’s activities,” it’s bound to be plenty of fun. Possibly with store-bought fireworks, or maybe the ever-popular climbing on the roof to watch distant fireworks at one of the above locations, or one of these:
- J.C. Bermudez Park; 3000 NW 87th Ave; Doral
- Amelia Earhart Park; 401 E. 65th St., Hialeah
- Florida International University-Biscayne Bay Campus; 3000 NE 151st St.
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HA HA! Alesh said: do do.
oops… I threw this together pretty quickly and w/o proofreading.
Hey, let’s not forget Crandon Park, where fireworks (presented by the famous Grucci family — and nope, i’ve never heard of them either) will be set off to patriotic tunes (Sousa, I’ll wager) broadcast on 88.9 FM.
And yeah, it would be a lot cooler if they set off the fireworks to jazz tunes (imagine Charlie Parker + fireworks!), but I’ll take what I can get.
But I’ll probably do what I did last July 4: throw down a picnic at South Pointe, where you can see pretty much every fireworks display along the coast: Bayside, Fisher Island, Key Biscayne, Miami Beach (so blah last year), Sunny Isles, and so on.
The downside to the beach plan, of course, is that the toasted knuckleheads all around you are setting their own fireworks, laffing their nuts off and nearly killing bystanders (e.g. you) in the process.
Thanks for listing UPPER EASTSIDE MIAMI’S American Legion Post 29’s 4th of July Celebration with FIREWORKS, good food, cool drinks, live music and kiddie rides.
Starts at 4:30 PM – at 5:30 PM two Miami police officers and the fire fighter of the year will be honored.
At 7 PM Taste Catering serves their traditional 4th of July BBQ Chicken & Ribs Dinner! ($15)
FIREWORKS at 9 PM
EVENT IS FREE – PARKING IS FREE
What about all the drunken festivities tonight Alesh????? Don’t get me wrong it’s the countries independence and families get together…..yadda yadda yadda, but we all got Wednesday off so let’s get mashed tonight. Ya? Cheers.
In the future, all men ( or males, being those who were born as such ) will not be named with letters from the Western Greek alphabet, ( or any of the worlds culturally historical alphabets ) but will instead have numerical tags as names based on credit score, such as: 625, 460, 720 (he’s a catch) or 600 etc. Just like Mike is Bob, is Juan is Ramon, if your a male, your name(ber) will dictate your intrinsic sex appeal. Women take heed, because if you are not yet aware of this up-and-coming phenomenon, then you will be left with someone in the 200-500 range and thereby suffer. “The future is now”, and credit score men are the way to see into the next pantheon of Capitalism with clarity !
Fireworks for credit scores that are higher than in the fours !!!
Q.What do you mean ? Does that indicate that my son, Ricky Smith (after my Grandpop ) will grow up and not pass forth the family name ?
A. Yes.In the past the family name delt with an industrial world and a patriarical phenomenon, which is no longer relevant. Instead, yor son’s name will become the credit score which you pass to him when he turns legal war age: eighteen. Thus you may call him, as will his peers, teachers, and relatives so-and-so Smith; but when he turns eighteen, he now belongs to the system and not you. Therefore, at the time he turns eighteen, your exact credit score at that moment of his astrological chart will be his name for the rest of his life – until he earns (or doesn’t) another one , which is only applicable if signed and sealed by the World commerce government organization, which will be run by former female porn stars.
I vote for Barbecue at a friend’s house. Miami is too damn hot and humid for outdoor activities, other than running outside every 5 minutes to see if the steaks are done!
nice compilation… i’ll go with dave, although i’ll probably be checking the caja china instead :p~
Yum… caja china pork!