Tuesday July 3, 2007

Your 4th of July

fireworks photo

I don’t mean to lecture you people, but let’s not get engulfed with nationalism this 4th. Maybe go read up on the American Revolution, or better yet, the Washington Post report on Dick Cheney (you know, who fights every day for the right of our troops do far worse then what was pictured in those Abu Ghraib photos).

But OK, July 4th is a celebration of our history, and a chance to party, and — well, there are at least a dozen government-sponsored “parties” scheduled for tomorrow. Rebecca Mandelman compiled a comprehensive list of them all posted at Wormhole Lab. More what-to-do’s are at New Times and About.com. A sampling (all these events are FREE):


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  1. Biscayne Bystander    Tue Jul 3, 09:31 AM #  

    HA HA! Alesh said: do do.

  2. alesh    Tue Jul 3, 09:33 AM #  

    oops… I threw this together pretty quickly and w/o proofreading.

  3. nikki    Tue Jul 3, 10:04 AM #  

    Hey, let’s not forget Crandon Park, where fireworks (presented by the famous Grucci family — and nope, i’ve never heard of them either) will be set off to patriotic tunes (Sousa, I’ll wager) broadcast on 88.9 FM.

    And yeah, it would be a lot cooler if they set off the fireworks to jazz tunes (imagine Charlie Parker + fireworks!), but I’ll take what I can get.

    But I’ll probably do what I did last July 4: throw down a picnic at South Pointe, where you can see pretty much every fireworks display along the coast: Bayside, Fisher Island, Key Biscayne, Miami Beach (so blah last year), Sunny Isles, and so on.

    The downside to the beach plan, of course, is that the toasted knuckleheads all around you are setting their own fireworks, laffing their nuts off and nearly killing bystanders (e.g. you) in the process.

  4. Bob Flanders    Tue Jul 3, 02:37 PM #  

    Thanks for listing UPPER EASTSIDE MIAMI’S American Legion Post 29’s 4th of July Celebration with FIREWORKS, good food, cool drinks, live music and kiddie rides.

    Starts at 4:30 PM – at 5:30 PM two Miami police officers and the fire fighter of the year will be honored.

    At 7 PM Taste Catering serves their traditional 4th of July BBQ Chicken & Ribs Dinner! ($15)



  5. b.a.c.    Tue Jul 3, 06:52 PM #  

    What about all the drunken festivities tonight Alesh????? Don’t get me wrong it’s the countries independence and families get together…..yadda yadda yadda, but we all got Wednesday off so let’s get mashed tonight. Ya? Cheers.

  6. fourth of fired    Wed Jul 4, 01:43 AM #  

    In the future, all men ( or males, being those who were born as such ) will not be named with letters from the Western Greek alphabet, ( or any of the worlds culturally historical alphabets ) but will instead have numerical tags as names based on credit score, such as: 625, 460, 720 (he’s a catch) or 600 etc. Just like Mike is Bob, is Juan is Ramon, if your a male, your name(ber) will dictate your intrinsic sex appeal. Women take heed, because if you are not yet aware of this up-and-coming phenomenon, then you will be left with someone in the 200-500 range and thereby suffer. “The future is now”, and credit score men are the way to see into the next pantheon of Capitalism with clarity !
    Fireworks for credit scores that are higher than in the fours !!!

  7. 90210    Wed Jul 4, 02:01 AM #  

    Q.What do you mean ? Does that indicate that my son, Ricky Smith (after my Grandpop ) will grow up and not pass forth the family name ?

    A. Yes.In the past the family name delt with an industrial world and a patriarical phenomenon, which is no longer relevant. Instead, yor son’s name will become the credit score which you pass to him when he turns legal war age: eighteen. Thus you may call him, as will his peers, teachers, and relatives so-and-so Smith; but when he turns eighteen, he now belongs to the system and not you. Therefore, at the time he turns eighteen, your exact credit score at that moment of his astrological chart will be his name for the rest of his life – until he earns (or doesn’t) another one , which is only applicable if signed and sealed by the World commerce government organization, which will be run by former female porn stars.

  8. Dave    Wed Jul 4, 08:10 AM #  

    I vote for Barbecue at a friend’s house. Miami is too damn hot and humid for outdoor activities, other than running outside every 5 minutes to see if the steaks are done!

  9. Enmanuel    Thu Jul 5, 02:05 PM #  

    nice compilation… i’ll go with dave, although i’ll probably be checking the caja china instead :p~

  10. alesh    Thu Jul 5, 02:53 PM #  

    Yum… caja china pork!