Saturday January 28, 2006

Dog-on-Boar-ring

[Contributed by Steve Klotz]

The Art and Culture Center of Hollywood opened its performing arts season Friday night at the Hollywood Central Performing Arts Center (HCPAC) with an astonishing dance company, Koresh, of Philadelphia. Members of the audience exited raving, some vowing to return this evening (Saturday) to see it again.

Tickets won’t be a problem. Half the seats in the auditorium (capacity: 500) were empty, a fact almost as astonishing as the performance. “Anywhere else but here you’d pay at least $50, stand in line, and sit in a packed house,” one seasoned patron noted. “What do people in South Florida do for cultural entertainment that’s better than this?”

Glad you asked. Turns out they’re heading out to the Seminole reservation to watch a little dog-on-boar action.

It’s pretty basic. Known (cleverly) as a “hog-dog fight,” a pit bull terrier or bulldog is tossed into a rectangular, 25- by 25-foot outdoor ring for a one-minute match. The object is to see how fast the dog can catch a terrified pig as it runs squealing for its life. The dog clamps its jaws on the pig’s snout, ears, or balls. Then “trainers” pry the animals apart with a metal bar. Surviving pigs are returned to the ring to fight again. If the pig collapses, they leave it for tomorrow’s breakfast bacon.

Great fun, yes? No wonder tumbleweed blows through Broward’s galleries, theaters, and concert halls on weekends. With football dominating Saturday and Sunday afternoons, you can’t expect citizens to whet their bloodthirsty cravings contemplating a pack of prancing poofsters, right? Watching dogs chew live pigs to death sets the proper mood.

Yeehaw.

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  1. The Python    Sat Jan 28, 12:01 PM #  

    I don’t understand the problem.



  2. Billy the Marlin    Sat Jan 28, 02:12 PM #  

    “Half the seats in the auditorium (capacity: 500) were empty”

    Sounds like a baseball game at Dolphin Stadium. Um, no, a Pro Player, no Joe Robbie. I forget which is it?



  3. machoman    Sat Jan 28, 06:18 PM #  

    well of course everyone’s off to see hog-dog competion. who would want to watch a bunch of pansies in tights dancin & prancin around? besides, everyone knows the males dancers are fags & the female dancers are, well….flat chested. I say, if you want to fill those (500) seats get a littlel blood sport going on in that there auditorium!



  4. Buford    Sat Jan 28, 07:38 PM #  

    If you’re implimicating that those of us who like to watch animals fighting are uncivilized, well, it ain’t true. I went to the Tutt show in the city and got me a hat and a magnet. And tomorrow we’re gonna go to the Royal Rumble (that’s wrestlin’) in the city.

    I may not drive a Murcades but I still know things.



  5. Gus    Sun Jan 29, 08:35 AM #  

    “everyone knows the males dancers are fags & the female dancers are, well….flat chested.”

    machoman, that’s a very generalistic comment to make.

    That’s like me saying those who attend hog dog competitions are small minded, bear bellied, losers who beat their wives and can’t get an erection.

    Now with a handle like “machoman” I’m sure that’s not you.

    Dogs killing pigs is bad. Shame on you.



  6. Emperor Caligula    Sun Jan 29, 01:14 PM #  

    I’m sick and tired of all you effete elitists telling the rest of us what’s fun, what’s good, what’s right, and how goddamm much more civilized you are. This is the same squeamish, stuck-up, attitude that shut down my lion cages, depriving an entire population of their weekday fun. First Christians, now pigs. What’s next?



  7. Miami Harold    Sun Jan 29, 01:16 PM #  

    I’m still laughing over the word “implimicating.”

    Thanks, Buford!



  8. Lois Terms    Sun Jan 29, 04:30 PM #  

    Half the seats in the auditorium (capacity: 500) were empty.”

    It’s better to say that half the seats were full. A few years ago you wouldn’t have seen 50 people in there. The audience is steadily building, and if performances like this continue, and the place keeps marketing itself, audiences will continue to grow.



  9. Rollo Nickels    Sun Jan 29, 08:51 PM #  

    How ‘bout dem boars? Er, bears?



  10. Otis The Chauffer    Mon Jan 30, 12:30 PM #  

    There youse go again, you limp-wristed South Florida Homos.

    Why d’ya think, Koresh left Philly? Because they couldn’t sell out a Photomat if they were giving away free cheesesteaks, that’s why.

    As for the Dog on Boar show, at least that’s a start.

    Up here we use toddlers. Them toddlers rip the shit out of them hogs.



  11. Brer Rabbit    Mon Jan 30, 02:02 PM #  

    “Koresh?” Ain’t that the religious freak from Waco that Jack Reno gunned down like a rabid wolf? How come he wasn’t in the pen with the rest of them pigs and dogs?



  12. john    Mon Jan 30, 02:27 PM #  

    Okay Steve, I withdraw my ballot for you as co-commentator of the year. Football bashing indeed.

    Ah, I recall those days of college football pagentry. Cornell vs. Columbia. Columbia marching band forms something that looks like the figure “6” and holds up placards that read “Microsoft Paperclip”. Then the band holds up placards that read “Editor of the Cornell Sun”.

    Maybe you had to be there…



  13. Mary Evans Luther    Mon Jan 30, 06:13 PM #  

    Boy did I scrape by by the skin of my teeth. Dem injuns made this hog/dog party sound like a wurl of fun. I was spechless, apaled and damn near wretched when I saw dem was actual animuls. Why hell in Ft. Mill we call it hog/dog cuz Bubba smells like a pig and half the udders that want to take im on look like mangie dogs, never mind the smell. Course Bubbas got a winning streak going right now. And Buford! When you comin back up baby! You’re the only one that almost detesticalized Bubba, you shoud come back for another try sweetie. I just mite bet on you. Yeah, crazy noles I’ll never invite em to my parts of teh woods, that you can relie. PS got sum shine waitin for yer on the porch Buford. MEL