Friday July 15, 2005

Service with a Smile

An occasional series on hurricane season
[Contributed by Steve Klotz]

Called my contact Boob at FPL (Florida Plunder and Loot) to see how the power company’s hurricane program was faring in this record-setting storm season.

“We’re extremely proud of our team and our record,” he enthused. “Dennis gave us opportunities to really strut our stuff.

“Any power company can have shut-offs and break-downs in the teeth of a storm—hell, at FPL, we write the book on that every year!—but with Dennis cruising up the Gulf and striking the Panhandle, we managed to have major blackouts as far away as northern Broward, Port St. Lucie, and even a few thousand in Duval—Jacksonville! They were out for hours, because we could tell ‘em our people were all committed to those storm victims up in Escambia.”

Great work, Boob. Any injuries?

A few losers got fricasseed when they stepped on downed lines, but, not our people. We never go out in the rain, you know. Customers can wait: what’s their choice? Go to the competition? Ha ha!

“So far this storm season, in the state of Florida alone we’ve clocked well over 23,000 interruptions in power, many on perfectly clear days with no ostensible cause. Broward had one just last night, in fact: no wind, no rain, no traffic accident, nothing except a 22 minute outage that screwed up the alarm clocks, computers, coffee makers, and security systems in entire neighborhoods. That puts us ‘way ahead of last year’s mark at this time.

And just think—it’s not even August!”

I thank him and ring off. Gotta admire a guy with such pride and enthusiasm for his job, y’know? Good thing he deploys his powers in the service of Good, not Evil.
Maybe I’ll send complimentary note about him to his boss.

[See all Articles by Steve]

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  1.    Sat Jul 16, 02:03 PM #  

    I’m wondering if you’re the same Steve Klotz who went to Central High School in Philly. He was sort of a dim witted bulb (maybe it was FP and L’s fault) even in those long ago days. I remember he shivered a lot…mostly during summer school, which scared the rest of us. A tree hugging (when he couldn’t find the knotholes) geek, he basically liked show music. Are you him? He said that he hoped to spend time in a law practice someday. Doesn’t look like he made it.