Tuesday July 12, 2005

Bastille Day

[Contributed by Steve Klotz]

We have the great pleasure to inform you that the French American Chamber of Commerce of Florida, French Tuesdays, and Union des Français de Floride organize together a spectacular Francophile get together for Bastille Day where we expect more than 2,500 people.

Got that e-mail last week. Following its fractured English further, one learns that this madcap celebration happens Thursday, 7/14—Bastille Day!—at Lounge Restaurant Yagé on Key Biscayne’s marina.

Bastille Day commemorates the storming of the Bastille on July 14, 1789, the event that begat the French Revolution. A prison and symbol of the absolute and capricious power of Louis the 16th’s Ancient Regime, at the time of its takeover the fortress housed exactly 7 prisoners. Both guards were on a Gaulois break. A loyalist messenger fled to Versailles to warn the royal family that trouble was brewing like Café au Lait.

“The people of France are revolting!” he cried (words that remain true today).

The King and his Austrian bride, Marie ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ Antoinette, huddled with their advisors. A course of action was determined within minutes. “We will surrender,” proclaimed Louie the Louse. “Maybe they’ll leave us alone.”

Three years later, thousands of citizens packed a Perrier and picnic lunch and strolled to the public square for a show. Alternately cheering and munching on quiche, they hoisted their children to their shoulders to watch as Louie and Marie Antoinette were dragged to the guillotine, butchered like swine, and force-fed to geese for a foie gras feast 2 weeks later. Grainy footage of the deposed Head(less) of State lying decapitated on the cobblestones appeared that night on Al Jazeera—even then the French and sinister forces in the mideast had established contact—and the Bastille itself was sold to south Florida developers for conversion to condominiums.

The Cradle of Culture. This should be a hell of a party, n’est-ce- pas?

[See all Articles by Steve]

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  1. Joy deVivrah    Tue Jul 12, 10:21 AM #  

    Mon Dieux, you are ignorant peasant. Our Bastille Day celebrates the liberte, fraternite, equalite you yourselves inspired, which France supported wholeheartedly, and without whose help you’d be slave colonies of the British crown today. Cochon! Have you no respect at all for histoire?

    Come even near our party and I personally will shove a bon-bon up your derriere.

  2. Kathleen    Wed Jul 13, 01:01 PM #  

    I’m tired of the French bashing.