Monday June 27, 2005

Easy there, Little Shark

bull shark

The whole world is talking about the girl killed by a shark off the coast of Florida Saturday. Great. Nobody’s going in the water for the next three months for fear of death. As a public service, we would like to remind you that hearing these reports creates a disproportionate perception of danger. The fact is that shark attacks are super-rare. More people are killed every year by pigs than by sharks. But what the hell. Stay away from the water if you must. More surfing room for us.

update: Camilo Santana chimes in with the numbers. (Thanks Camilo!) Kitties are oddly absent from the list; Sophie has already killed a few unsuspecting visitors.

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  1. Tanya    Mon Jun 27, 02:21 PM #  

    Would those be freshwater or saltwater pigs? Either way, I’ll be up on the beach, tanning. And tanning. And tanning.

  2. alesh    Mon Jun 27, 03:05 PM #  

    steve, you’re dead.

  3. turfbound    Mon Jun 27, 03:35 PM #
    a good read from Slate on bull sharks, written a couple years ago after a streak of FL attacks. a nice meld of national geographic factoids and a weird sense of water dread that will leave you uncomfortable even in your backyard pool.

  4. turfbound    Mon Jun 27, 03:39 PM #  

    and oy.
    Second shark attack in three days off Florida’s Panhandle
    DESTIN, Fla. – A shark attacked and critically injured a teenage boy off Florida’s Panhandle on Monday, two days after a 14-year-old Louisiana girl died after a shark bit her leg at another Panhandle beach.

  5. Bill T. Shark    Mon Jun 27, 04:09 PM #  

    If you’d keep your pink fleshy asses out of the ocean, our youngsters would be less tempted to bite chunks out of them. Turns out most of you don’t even taste too good—way too dry—and your high sugar content is bad for our teeth.

  6. dumb    Mon Jun 27, 04:34 PM #  

    basically, stay the hell outta the panhandle (where the lightning analogy is bunk) is that so difficult?

  7. George    Wed Jun 29, 10:21 AM #  

    Those statistics are inane, and completely worthless. It’s like comparing the safety of cars vs the safety of planes by looking at the number of accidents per year!

    One thing is for sure… I’m keeping my ass out of the water

  8. cohen    Thu Jun 30, 12:10 PM #  

    im in nyc right now and its front page new on the POST,, newyorkers love shark storys

  9. Camilo Santana    Fri Jul 1, 04:00 AM #  

    What about the deer … and dogs … and rabid racoons – they kill more peeps per year. Lets stay off the roads, stay out of our houses (if you have a dog) and the hell away from parks and picnic areas.

    ... an damned hippies! God, I hate hippies. Stay away from them too.